My Testimony

My personal testimony of why I believe in and follow the teachings of my personal lord and savior, Jesus.

I grew up in a religious household. My parents forced me to attend church 90% of Sundays against my will until late high school. The churches’ messages never connected with me because I didn’t know the historical authenticity of the Bible, and the reality of God’s existence never rang true to me. So, all the stories taught in church just felt like they were made up similar to Greek mythology.

When I went to college in 2017, in a spirit of rebellion, I lived as an atheist and didn’t give the God question much thought. My atheism subsided fairly quickly, such that in 2018 when I got over my ego and resentment, I realized two facts in my heart:

  1. Good and evil were concepts that I believed to be objective parts of this world
  2. If the law (good and evil) exists, then a law-giver (God) exists.

After those realizations, I pursued God my way - trying things like meditation, journaling, etc. I occasionally went to church, but the messages still did not connect with me because I had not confirmed the historicity of the Bible for myself. Unfulfilled, I lost my initial zeal for connecting with the creator of the universe and began back down the road of apathy.

It wasn’t until a year and a college transfer later in 2019 that my belief in a creator was re-ignited by Lee Strobel’s, A Case for a Creator. Lee’s belief in Jesus inspired me to investigate the teachings of Christian apologists like Dr. Frank Turek, Ravi Zacharias, William Lane Craig, C.S. Lewis, and Dr. Sean McDowell. The apologist approach connected with my analytical thinking style, and I began to believe in Jesus, his death, and resurrection - never to turn back.

At first, in another spurt of zeal, I desperately tried evangelizing non-believers because I felt obligated to share what I believed would keep non-believers out of eternal punishment and damnation. While my intentions were good, I soon discovered I was not an evangelist.

I remember quite vividly, despite my relative intoxication, the moment that discouraged my spirit of evangelism. It was New Year’s Eve going into 2021, and I was running the apologist bases - the philosophies, facts, and arguments that point toward God’s existence - in one of the deepest conversations I ever had with a roommate I was not all that close with. At the end of our conversation, he told me that while my arguments had convinced his mind that God more likely exists than not, he simply did not want to believe in God with his heart because it was easier for him to live life without the pressure of an all-powerful being watching and judging his decisions.

That night discouraged me quite a bit. It was not until I started seriously diving into the eschatological prophecies of the Bible midway through that year that I started seeking out Bible-centered conversations with non-believers again. Ultimately, that night, God worked through that discouragement and created in me a longing to know why God called me. Since that night, that longing to know has guided me through much of my journey with God in the spiritual, physical, and digital realms.

Today, my best answer is that my calling and relationship with God involve the end times more seriously than most churches I have attended. As I have attempted to live out this calling, I have what I feel is a renewed spirit of evangelism in some ways, which is (in part) why I created this website (for the non-believer). A better description of how I am pursuing God today would be that I’m watching for him, specifically in the form of the son, Jesus Christ (i.e., the king of the eternal kingdom of heaven and earth). As a watchman for Jesus, I’m also tasked with alerting everyone (believers and non-believers alike) when I believe that he is coming back to regather his rightful kingdom together on earth, just as the watchman of the house while the master is away (Mark 13). And if you have not figured it out yet, I believe Jesus is coming back soon!

With the publishing of this testimony, I pray that:

  1. It will personally reaffirm my faith in my lord and savior, Jesus Christ.
  2. If you have put your faith in Jesus, it will reaffirm your faith in him.
  3. If you have not put your faith in Jesus, it will help you have faith in him.